Back To School Queer Survival Guide: Being LGBTQ+ at School or College

Navigating the school system as a young queer person can seem like a minefield. Especially if you are still questioning your sexuality or gender, or are feeling ready to come out to those around you.

We believe all young folk also deserve to live as authentically as possible; however, we know it’s difficult to be your true self if you aren’t sure a space is 100% safe for you to be openly queer. That’s why we’ve created this back-to-school guide on how to navigate school and college (both in the UK and around the world) safely and proudly as an LGBTQ+ student.

Having an adult at school you can talk to about how you’re feeling means you don’t have to go through anything alone. Whether it’s sharing your preferred name and pronouns, reporting any issues in the classroom, or helping you with gender-affirming school clothes, a trusted adult can make coming to school seem less daunting. It doesn’t have to be your own teacher either — just someone you feel you can open up to.

There is absolutely no rush to come out, especially if you don’t feel it’s safe to do so. If you do want to come out to your classmates, it’s good to have a solid support system — whether that’s school friends or a trusted adult. Think about where you feel most safe, and how you want to educate others. If you feel comfortable, you could add some pride pins and badges to your school bag to subtly show you are a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community.

Every school, college or sixth form has a different culture. While some may be more inclusive than others, it’s worth doing some research into whether your school has an LGBTQ+ safe space or anti-bullying or non-discrimination policy specifically for gender identity or sexuality. These can be super helpful if you’re worried about being openly gay at school.

If you want to bind or tuck at school, make sure to practice before the term starts (if you feel safe enough to do so at home). A few practice runs can make it easier to get changed after P.E or gym class, or if you are playing a wind instrument in orchestra or band. If you’re binding, don’t forget to bring a sports bra or loose-fitting clothing to change into if you need to. If you want to tuck, make sure to pack some tights in your school bag.

Finding queer friends at school, or people that you can be out with, can help you build a safe space in an environment that might be a lot sometimes. PS, the size of the Heartstopper squad is the exception, not the rule! It’s worth checking whether your school already has a group for LGBTQ+ students. If not, see if you can set one up. But remember, it isn’t your job to educate everybody on queer rights, especially if it’s getting you down.

Everyone is guilty of doomscrolling, but doing it when you feel like an outsider is a recipe for disaster. Instead, follow queer creators and view queer media on your phone. Not only can seeing positive representation improve how you think about yourself, but it can make your world seem a little bigger — important when the school sphere can seem so small. Make sure to consume stories focusing on queer joy, not just transphobia or homophobia.

School and college are stressful; there’s no getting around it. But for queer folk, the stakes seem even higher. That’s why it’s so important to constantly check in with how you’re doing . Prioritising your mental health looks different to everybody. Maybe it’s unloading to a friend or trusted adult, journaling your emotions or joining an LGBTQ+ youth group with others who know what you’re going through. There is always someone you can talk to, we promise. 

• Support services for LGBT+ young people

• Find an LGBT+ youth group

• Coming out about your sexual identity

• Coming out about your gender identity

• How to come out at school

• How to change your name during your gender transition

• Keeping safe online for queer folk